


Finding Eva

by LadyBuck112



Series: Finding Eva [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins, dragon age tresspasser
Genre: F/M, Family Issues, Female Character of Color, Fluff and Angst, Kirkwall (Dragon Age), Lust, Lyrium Withdrawal, Marriage, Married Sex, Wicked Grace, adjusting to life, marriage issues, some smut, troubled feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBuck112/pseuds/LadyBuck112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No longer the "Inquisitor" nor the "Herald of Andraste", Eva Trevelyan is having a hard time adjusting to her new life as just...Cullen's wife. </p><p>Cullen has easily settled into his new life as husband and provider. Will their differences drive them apart or be the thing that strengthens them?</p><p>Basically some of the frilly stuff that floats in my head.<br/>***Some spoilers for those who haven't played Dragon Age Inquisition DLC "Trespasser"***.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfiction. I love and respect all of your work; please be kind with your suggestions; they are welcomed.
> 
> Thank you for reading.

Part 1-

“So…am I supposed to cook?”

Surprised and confused, Cullen looked up from rubbing Blade’s belly. “What?”

Eva Trevelyan-Rutherford rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip, “I said, ‘what do you want to eat’?’”

Since the Inquisition officially disbanded eight months ago, Cullen and Eva retired to the Hinterlands countryside. Remembering the beautiful greenery, the flowing waterfalls, and the open space she experienced during her adventures, Eva agreed with Cullen to purchase a small cottage for the three of them. Yes, Cullen insisted on adopting the abandoned Mabari from the Winter Palace, whom they named Blade.

Standing up, Cullen smirked, “Hmmm, no tavern food tonight?” He stepped closer to Eva, wrapped his arms around her waist, and nuzzled her neck playfully. His skin has tanned to a warm golden shade. He smelled like fresh cedar and sweat. Earlier he was chopping and sawing wood for the day’s needs.

Sighing, Eva smiled sadly, “Cullen, I…I want to be a good wife to you. You deserve someone who can cook and wash clothes and…and do other ‘wifely’ things…” Since moving in, they’ve been eating each night at one of three of their favorite taverns. It worked out well: she didn’t have to cook, he didn’t have to lie about her cooking.

Cullen slowly pulled back to look into his wife’s eyes, “You know that I love you and I think you are an amazing wife. We serve one another; we work together.” Blade barked in agreement. “But if you really want to cook tonight, I’d like that. In fact,” Cullen patted his thigh to get Blade’s attention, “We’ll head out now to get something ‘meaty’” Cullen kissed Eva’s cheek quickly. “We’ll be back. Wish us luck.”

Eva shook her head as she watched the two leave the cottage. She stepped towards the door to head out behind them but stopped. This was their home. This felt good. Observing her surroundings, she smiled: a comfy bed against the far left wall; a fireplace for warmth and cooking; an armoire; a desk for writing; a wooden table for four…

Simple. Comfortable.

Walking towards the fireplace which was gently kindling, she stared up at the one thing that, to her, was the embodiment of power: her two-handed Claymore. Memories. She could still feel the power that the weapon yielded. It still had its light blue glow from the enchanted runes. At one time, it was an extension of herself. Once she got her hands on it, she never let it go. Upgraded it a few times, but never exchanged it. Nah. She took it down every once in a while to clean and sharpen it. Just to feel a little bit of its power. Now that her left hand was gone and the war was over, the Claymore had been mounted above the mantel and stayed put most of the time.

Nonetheless, Eva kept herself busy. Outside their cottage grew a healthy garden. Tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, potatoes, onions, elfroot, a small deathroot plant and embrium flourished. To the far right of their garden grew an apple tree which yielded juicy, greenish-yellow apples and to the left grew a pomegranate tree.

Stepping outside, Eva inhaled. The sun was shining brightly and the air was warm and fresh. Her dress rustled about her ankles with the blow of the breeze. She felt free. But she couldn’t ignore that small yearning for…something… that was always tugging at the back of her mind. I’m blessed, I’m thankful. She rehearsed such things in her mind. She needed to remind herself that constant threat and turmoil was not the norm and that peace and quiet is something coveted. But still…

Holding the gathering basket under her right arm, she walked into the garden and scanned the growing plants. What's for dinner? Something easy…“Hmm, potatoes…carrots…onions…” I’m sure I can make something suitable with that and…

“Nugs. Nugs will make a heck of a stew.” Recognizing the smug know-it-all voice of her Tevinter friend, Eva grinned as she turned around.

“Maker’s breath, Dorian?!” Dropping the basket, Eva ran to Dorian and leaped into his open arms. “What the heck are you doing here? You haven’t spoken to me through the crystals in like a week!”

Letting go of the embrace, Dorian shook his head and grinned, “You know, this whole ‘wife’ look you have going on,” he moved his hands animatedly over her form, “looks kind of good on you. Wha-Are you wearing a dress? Has your hair grown longer? We need to contact an artist immediately to catch all of this magnificence on a canvas!”

Eva rolled her eyes and walked back over to her abandoned basket, “Are you joining us for supper Dorian? I’m actually going to cook.” Eva whispered that point for some reason. “Perhaps what you’ve just suggested, although I’m not sure if the boys are going to bring home nugs or ram meat. Either way you’re welcome to stay.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Dorian just looked at Eva. He remembered fighting alongside her, zapping demons, freezing insane Red Templars, electrocuting crazy mages. Sigh. The joy. “I’m not staying for long, Eva. I just wanted to see you before I went back home. I had some business to take care of here…and wanted to surprise you.” Dorian surveyed the Rutherfords' yard and nodded in approval. “I’m really happy for you two. Perhaps a little…what’s the word for when you want what someone else has? Oh, optimistic.”

Eva looked over her shoulder at her best friend and grinned then yanked out a few more potatoes from the earth before standing up. Eyeing him curiously, she walked past him back towards the cottage, “Uh huh. Come on D, help me get this stuff ready for supper.”

\- Cullen leaned back from the table and smiled while rubbing his belly, “Woman, you did a most lovely job on the meal.” Blade barked in agreement and returned to gnawing on his ram bone. Ram stew. She learned the recipe from her early days as the Inquisitor. The stew saved many lives back then.

Satisfied but mostly relieved, Eva stood up from the table and began to clear the dishes. “I thought I saw you dumping the stew on the floor for Blade, Cullen.” Eva joked.

“No, I most certainly agree with the Commander; this meal was as great as I said it would be. Now I must be off.” Dorian scooted his chair back and stood up with a stretch.

Eva tossed a few more plates into the wash basin before heading over to her friend, “It was great seeing you D. When do you think you’ll be back to visit us?”

Dorian hugged Eva and smirked at Cullen who was eyeing him warily, “Perhaps after you three become four? I’ll be certain to bring a gift for the celebration.” Dorian tilted his head to Cullen and patted the distracted dog lightly as he headed out, “I’ll contact you on the crystals soon my friend. Take care. I’ll let myself out.”

Cullen let out a long sigh before getting up from the table. Together he and Eva washed the remaining dishes, swept the floor, and kindled the night fire. Blade got up from his spot in the kitchen and went to his comfy corner near the front door. He was their night guard after all, under the leadership of a loving Commander.

"So, what do you think that was all about?" Cullen asked drying his hands on a cloth.

Eva shrugged, "I don't know. He said he had some business to take care of out here and just stopped by. I figured that he'd tell me if something serious was going on..."

Eva flung her apron over a chair and laughed to herself. A dang apron. I cooked my own dinner. My mother would be proud of my “transition”. When she lived at home with her family, her mother insisted that her three girls learned to cook. “You want to keep a man? Please his belly.” Her mother would say. But Eva was a warrior at heart. She enjoyed training with her two brothers opposed to baking cakes. Of course she wasn’t even thinking about marriage at the time nor was there anyone she was interested in.

But things were different now.

“Here, let me get that for you.” Cullen kissed Eva’s cheek gently before stepping up behind her. He didn’t know why, but he appreciated the fact that she began to wear dresses. This one was a soft cotton house dress, dyed in a light yellow hue. He noticed how the lemony color of the dress and the golden glow from the fire place complimented Eva’s warm copper toned skin. The dress outlined her curves and accentuated her breast. She also allowed her hair to grow longer. During their days at Skyhold, she kept her hair short and pulled back. Now her dark brown kinky curls fell wildly over her shoulders. The picture of tamed power and strength.

He ran his hands down her arms before untying the back of the dress for her. “You look rather…lovely…” He murmured in her ear, kissing the nape of her neck. Eva smiled, “Thank you.” Once he was finished, she turned around to face Cullen and kissed him gently. He pulled her closer to him, inhaling the warm scent of his wife. Cinnamon…sugar…

He thought about how he hated leaving her behind at Haven's chantry that sad night. It was either get the survivors out safely or everyone dies. The decision was made: Cullen would usher the survivors out through the path revealed by Rodrick while Eva distracted Corypheus with a grand avalanche. Cullen remembered looking at this brave woman who was ready to risk her own life to save the others, including himself. He wanted to kiss her at that moment.

When she was found near frozen to death after walking alone through the Frostbacks, he was over joyed. Within his heart he prayed every moment for her safe return. It took all his might to not hug her once she emerged from her tent bruised, disoriented, but strong and in control.

Cullen remembered their first kiss on the Skyhold battlements. He admitted to her that he'd wanted to kiss her before then. In fact, he wanted to kiss her quite a few times before then. He would watch her lips move during their war room debriefings. Full…a dark blush…He wanted to kiss her before she went out on important missions during their campaign against Corypheus. He wanted to kiss her goodbye. He wanted to kiss her for good luck.

But now, she was all his. So he kissed her; long and deep. He wanted more of her, to savor her. It was always in the back of his mind that if he didn’t, he would miss the opportunity. She could be called away from him at any time. Still.

Breaking away from the sweet kiss, Eva turned to the fireplace and looked into the large pot, “The water is ready now”.

She stepped aside as Cullen came forth to unhook the large pot from the hearth. Behind a partition was a large iron bath. He poured the pot of boiling water into the bath that was partially filled with cool water Eva collected from the stream earlier in the day. Eva tossed in some crushed elfroot, essence of cinnamon, and salt making the warm healing bath feel and smell beautiful.

“Ladies first?” Cullen smirked and bowed playfully as Eva approached the tub. Eva shooed him away. As he disappeared behind the partition, Eva allowed the yellow dress to slip from her shoulders and slide onto the floor. The water temperature was perfect. She sank down into the tub and exhaled. Then she inhaled, taking in the sweet aroma of the plants and spices, exhaling as she closed her eyes…

…You made the best decision. The inquisition was no more. Fereldan was relieved, Orlais was disappointed. It was for the best. But what about her friends? They agreed with her decision, but she couldn’t help but feel like she betrayed them; like she had given up; like she was missing out on something…I’m blessed, I’m thankful, I’m content. She rehearsed in her mind.

Eva’s eyes shot open to the rapping sound against the partition. Oops, totally forgot about the water getting too cold for Cullen’s bath. “Ok, ok, I’m finishing up.”

Cullen entered from the side of the divider, “Well, you know how I love cold baths…”

As Eva finished bathing, Cullen worked on removing his day clothes. No plated armor, just simple cloth and hide for hunting and working their small field. “It’s still warm, promise.”

Eva smiled playfully as she got out of the tub with the help of Cullen’s hand. He insisted she use his help to get in and out of the tub safely. She didn’t need his help. She could take down three darkspawn alphas with one dagger and an apple with her one good arm. Nonetheless, she indulged him; he wanted to take care of her. She dried off and then slipped on the night robe he held open for her. It was a late wedding gift from Grand Enchanter Vivienne. It was so Orlesian. The fabric was cream colored velvet. The lapels and ties were a pearl colored silk. It felt exquisite against her naked body.

Mimicking Eva’s previous gesture, Cullen shooed her out and got into the tub. “ERRRGGHH!”

Eva bit her lower lip to stifle her laugh, “It’s really not that cold. You can handle it.”

Ignoring Cullen’s mumbling, Eva walked over to their bed and drew back the quilt her mother made them for a wedding gift. Soon, they’ll be visiting Cullen’s family. Although she was excited, she was also a little nervous. Will they accept her? Or will they be intimidated by her? Will she be intimidated by them? Will her missing hand frighten the children? Will they accept the fact that she is from the Southern part of the Free Marches? Should it matter?

After some time, Eva could hear Cullen emerge from his bath. Closing her journal, she leaned over to blow out the candles, allowing the smoldering fire of the hearth to provide the only light. Disregarding the matching Orlesian robe hanging over the partition, Cullen walked over to the bed while drying his hair with a large cloth.

“Ready for bed?” Eva asked gently as Cullen sat down at its edge. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples briefly. He still suffered from headaches. Thankfully they weren’t brought on by reading war reports and arguing over inquisition matters. Now they were simply the lagging, annoying symptoms of lyrium withdrawal.

_These headaches are going to be the end of me…_

“Not quite. Come here.” Taking a deep breath, he motioned for Eva to enter his open arms. She kissed the top of his head as he curled his arms around her waist.

Looking down at her husband, she kissed his forehead, then his nose, and then his lips. “I love you. You know that, right?” She gently began to comb her right hand smoothly through his damp golden brown curls. She would begin with his forehead; moving her fingers firmly over the top of his head and to the back. Steady strokes. Front to back.

“I do.” Cullen closed his eyes as his wife gave him his nightly head massage. It was his main therapy. “And you know that I love you too.” Opening his eyes, he began untying Eva’s robe. Eva bent her head down to kiss him softly on the lips. They nipped each other lightly at first, allowing the heat to build. His hands gently wrapped around her waist and then smoothed over her hips, her bum.

He wanted to make her feel beautiful. He noticed how she looked at herself in the mirror lately; the hint of sadness crossing over her face as she studied her missing limb. The mark was killing her, so it had to be removed- along with her arm. But it didn’t make her less of a woman or less of a lover. She was still strong and beautiful to him.

A soft sigh escaped Eva’s mouth when Cullen’s soft lips found her collar bone. He loved her sounds. The way she moaned, the way she cried out- because of him. It was foolish, but he felt a bit of pride knowing that he was the only one who made this woman feel…good.

Eva looked down at her husband’s face with hooded eyes as she let her robe fall to the floor. With slight hesitation she straddled her former commander’s hips. He wants a child. Eva remembered him looking intently into his cup of tea while asking her if she was still swallowing deathroot seeds. Damn, he noticed the plant hadn’t been harvested, “Well…I was thinking that since we are no longer fighting to save the world…that I could…slack off the root a bit…look, I’ll make sure to-“ She raised an eyebrow at the look that he gave her. Relief? Hope?

“No, no there’s no need to. I noticed you not swallowing your seeds this morning…nor anytime last week... It’s good if you want to stop…I’ve wanted us to talk about it…” Cullen blushed and rubbed the back of his neck like he usually did when he was lost for words. Ironically, his meaning was crystal clear. The message was in his eyes.

Eva could feel Cullen’s length between them hardening as they continued to kiss. They have been trying for a baby for the past few months now with no luck. These things take some time, right? She hoped. She’ll write her mother about it in the morning. She was beginning to feel a bit disappointed when her menstrual would show up. A reminder of their lack of success. Kind of like she wasn’t… “working” properly.

Cullen leaned back on the bed and adjusted his position. “Ride me.” He watched as Eva took him with her hand. Stroking him firmly; up, down, up, down. Lifting herself up, she guided his length into her. He groaned and leaned his head back as she began to move up and down, back and forth against him. Fuuuck…His hips moved along with her steady pace. He watched as her breast bounced. Her nipples were brown like the milk chocolate drops he bought her from Val Royeaux. Probably why he bought them…

Eva bent forward to lay on his chest as she rode him. His hands cupped her bottom firmly as he pressed her down and rubbed her plump behind. The gentle rocking of their bodies, the calm fire, the soft passionate breathing, was what made it all worth it. The disbanding of all that Inquisition shit was worth it. To live life freely, right? They had their own space. They were officially married, officially one.

Pulling away from the light suckling on Cullen’s earlobe, Eva glanced briefly into his eyes. “What is it, love?” Cullen whispered hoarsely stopping his movements, worry furrowing his brows. Is she crying?

Eva sniffled and sighed in annoyance. “Baby don’t stop.” Eva whined and continued to move her hips over Cullen’s body.

“Eva what is it?” Cullen asked more sternly, totally not letting this go. When she closed her eyes and refused to answer, Cullen quickly flipped her over and under him, switching their positions. “Eva…” Cullen angled his hips away from Eva as to not enter her.

Eva surprised him with a slap across his face that was loud enough to make Blades ears perk up in alarm. “I said don’t stop and…don’t be gentle.”

“What the fuck, Eva!?” Cullen didn’t know what to do. He was torn between getting up from being pissed off and freaking hammering her. She had tears streaming down the sides of her face. He decided to do as she said and reentered her, albeit a little forcefully.

A passionate cry escaped Eva’s lips as Cullen continued to take her a bit more aggressively. She wrapped her legs around his narrow waist as he labored more intensely, rubbing his hips gingerly over her clitoris. Damn, she feels so good.

“Cullen,” Eva moaned as he bent down to suck on her earlobe.

“Hmm?” She could barely hear his response over the crescendo of her heartbeat, pants, and his breathing. “I want…I want to have your child.”

At her confession, he groaned deeply. Breaking away from her ear and neck, he kissed her. Thrusting his tongue in between her sweet lips. He brought his legs and hips higher up, pinning her underneath him to penetrate her deeper, faster. His hands moved underneath her ass to lift her up. “I want you to have my child.” He groaned out. “I’m ready…I want it.”

With that, Eva arched her back and cried out as her orgasm washed over her. Sobs from their passion escaping her throat. Her hips bucked up against him as the waves over took her.

Cullen dropped his head into the crook of his wife’s neck as his own pleasure mounted. He growled deeply as he continued to ride the clenching waves of Eva’s coming. He thought about what she said. The tears in her eyes. The insecurity on her face.

“I’m yours forever, Eva.” Groaning out a silent prayer to the Maker, he shuttered, releasing his seed into his wife.

\---- 

Cullen wiped his forehead with the back of his right arm. The Spring sun was beating down harder than usual during its noontime high. He wacked the wood axe into the stump of the tree he just cut down and took a swig from his water flask.

“Ser Rutherford? Cullen Rutherford?” Cullen turned towards the voice behind him. It was a young male elf holding an envelope.

“Yes?”

“Message for you Ser,” Cullen took the envelope from the young elf and thanked him. The front of the envelope was addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Cullen Rutherford”. He flipped it over to see a red Kirkwall seal. There was only one person he knew that lived in Kirkwall that also knew he was married. Varric Tethras.

“Blade, come on.” Together they walked back to the cottage.

Eva was pouring what looked like water with thinly sliced apples and cucumbers into two cylinder glasses.

“What’s that?” Cullen crinkled his nose and lifted off his shirt. Eva gave him a look before he tossed the filthy shirt onto the floor. Instead he tossed it into the laundry basket.

“A little something that Vivienne taught me how to make back when we were in Val Royeux. Don’t know what it’s called officially, but we call it ‘spa water’”. Eva handed him a glass and then sipped from her own.

“Do you have to put stuff in it? Water’s perfectly fine the way it is.” He drank the cool water down quickly and let the cut fruit slide into his mouth. Chewing, he handed Eva the letter. “We received this today. Want to open it? I need to wash my face.”

Eva sat her glass down on the table and took the note from Cullen. He’s getting quite a sexy tan, she noted as he walked over to the tub. He knelt down and began splashing water over his face.

Opening the seal from the envelope, Eva began wondering what Varric could want.

_Dear Eva (and Cullen),_

_Remember when I gave you the key to the city during the Exalted Council?_

_Well, now’s a good time to see how it works. I have a few days off and would like the two of you to join me in a game of Wicked Grace. Maybe knock back a few kegs of dwarven ale?_

_I have the perfect place set aside for the two of you and that humongous mabari._

_What do you think?_

_Kirkwall isn’t as scary as it used to be. Promise._

_Varric Tethras,_

_Kirkwall Viscount_

“Whatever Varric had to say must have been…pleasing. You’re smiling quite mischievously.” Cullen went to the pitcher and poured himself more stupid spa water. He downed it and poured more.

“Varric wants us to visit him in Kirkwall for a couple days. I’d like us to go.”

Cullen looked less than amused and didn’t respond. Eva continued on, “Baby, I know that you know I’ve been feeling a little…bored. And so have you.”

“No,” Cullen lifted up his hand in correction. “You have been bored. I’ve been very happy sleeping as well as I’ve ever slept, grooming my new recruit, and working on expanding our home. My life is splendid right now.” Even though it’s been over twelve years since the events in Kirkwall transpired, Cullen honestly had no desire to revisit the port city.

“Cullen, I think I need this. I need to be around some friends. See what’s out there…” She didn’t know why, but she could feel something bubbling up in her spirit.

Cullen felt dread…


	2. Date night: Visit to Kirkwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva and Cullen visit Varric in Kirkwall...date night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may revise. Thank you for reading. 
> 
> FYI...Blade was left in the Hinterlands. He's safe though. :)

Part 2- Finding Eva

 

“Where are we going?” Cullen asked, not hiding his annoyance. They were walking through Lowtown…late at night. _Kirkwall feels…different_. Less desolate. Less dangerous. Cullen couldn’t put his finger on what it was exactly, but the memories of what happened in this city still lingered in his mind. The skeleton of Kirkwall’s past, unable to be buried.

“Varric said to meet him at the Hanged Man for some ‘late-night fun’.”  She could NOT imitate Varric’s voice.

No.

They arrived in Kirkwall a few hours before nightfall. Varric quickly showed them to their room in his estate and headed out for his last meeting, asking them to meet him later to catch up.

“Eva, I’m tired. We can have fun back in the room. We can have fun sleeping...” Eva ignored him. They came upon the entrance of the old pub where people were lined up to get inside. Eva noticed that almost everyone was dressed in leathers and boots. “What’s going on in there?” Cullen asked.

Members of the city-guard were stationed in various places outside the pub fully dressed and armed. Eva caught Cullen’s wary look and shrugged. Looks fun.

Walking up to the two guards at the tavern’s door, Eva smiled. “Hi, I’m here to see-“

“You may go right in Lady Trevelyan.” One of the guards said and stepped aside for the two of them to enter.

“Rutherford.” Cullen corrected, looking at the guard heatedly.

“I do apologize. Ser and…Lady Rutherford? You may enter.” Poor guard. Cullen can be such an ass.

Eva reached behind to connect with Cullen’s hand. Grasping her hand, he followed behind her into the dark pub.

It. Was. Loud! A group of bards played music on a small stage while people sat or stood around watching them perform. In the center of the room was a ring of people. Shouts and whistles were blasting out of their mouths. Eva and Cullen walked over to the crowd to see what was going on.

Inside the ring of people were two stout female dwarves who were wrestling on the tavern floor. One female kneed her opponent in the rib so hard that she lost her breath. Taking advantage of the situation, the stronger female straddled the back of the weaker one and locked her arm around the front of her opponent’s neck. She held her grip tight, securing her strength by locking her other arm over the first. The other female passed out.

The crowd cheered and jeered with excitement. The winner pumped her gloved fist in the air in triumph. “Jayla! Jayla!” the crowd cheered the victor’s name.

Eva shivered with excitement.

“There you two are!” Eva and Cullen turned to see their viscount friend grinning at them. “Enjoying the show?!” He had to yell over the noise of the crowd.

“Absolutely!”

“No.”

Eva and Cullen looked at each other. Varric laughed. “Come on, let me get you some drinks!”

Varric led them over to a large table further from the stage, but close enough to watch the fighting. Cullen slid back a chair for Eva before sitting down himself. _This is ridiculous_. Cullen rubbed the bridge of his nose and slouched slightly in his chair as he gazed around. _Bring on the headache_.

In a matter of moments, a bar maid came to their table and sat down four mugs of golden amber ale. “Here Curly, I thought you could use two of these.” Varric slid two mugs closer to Cullen. Cullen looked inside one of the mugs and then drank from it, his Adams’s apple bobbing up and down with each swallow.

“Thanks.” Cullen said wiping his mouth and reaching for the next mug.

“Seems I was right. As usual.” Varric chuckled. “I’m glad you haven’t given up on drinking like you have Lyrium. You’d be no fun!”

Cullen snorted, “Varric, have you grown shorter? I could have sworn the last time I saw you, you were at my knees.”

“Ha ha. Now there’s the Commander I know and love. Now,” Varric pulled out his stack of playing cards, “Who’s ready for a game of Wicked Grace?”

Eva grinned at Cullen, “I am Commander, _how about you_?”

Cullen rolled his eyes but smiled, “Mock me all you want. But I’ll never let myself be humiliated like that again. That, I can promise you.”

Varric and Eva cackled. “Let’s get started. How much do you two wager?”

\---

The fighters in the ring were glistening with sweat and blood. One fighter grabbed the other’s waist, tackling him down to the ground. There, they wrestled for power and dominance over one another. Eva observed the fighters. _Keep your form firm, you’ll lose ground! Block…he could have blocked that!_

“Eva!” She jumped at the sound of Cullen’s voice.

“Yes!?”

Cullen smirked. “I’m going to talk to Varric about a few things; get some updates regarding Hawke and Kirkwall...Will you be ok without us?”

“Yes! You two go on ahead, I’m going to go over and watch the next fight. Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

Cullen nodded.

“Stay out of trouble.” Varric looked at Eva knowingly.

“Oh? Ok.” _Don’t know what he’s talking about…but ok.._

Cullen leaned over to kiss his wife before getting up from the table and following Varric to a group of off duty city-guards and Templars.

Eva necked the last of her ale before walking over to the fight ring. Her heart rate was picking up at every step. It’s been less than a year since the inquisition disbanded...two years since Corypheus’ defeat. No more fighting. No more saving the world…

The smell of blood and sweat was rancid. It wasn’t just the odor of the current fighters, but the stench of those who bled before them. The crowd was cheering still. Eva watched intently. She visualized how she would counter such an attack with one arm. It was like she could see their movements in slow motion. Her shoulders swayed to the right as if to lean away from an oncoming fist. The smells, the sounds, the movements were…intoxicating.

\---

Cullen didn’t know what happened.

One moment he was closing the door to their room, the next moment, he was pinned underneath Eva on the carpeted floor.

Eva’s adrenaline was soaring!

She did her best to hold it in the entire stroll back to Varric’s estate. But her eyes were trained on Cullen shoulders, the V shape of his back, the muscles she knew were hiding underneath he’s shirt.

She tried to hold it in while Cullen and Varric laughed and exchanged silly quips with one another. _His abs were most likely flexing_ …

But now they were finally alone.

“Take this blasted thing off.” Eva groaned in frustration.

Cullen quickly lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it somewhere to his right.

Body shaking with lust, Eva stood up and starting working her dress up her legs, up her torso. To help things move along, Cullen got off the floor quickly and lifted the dress over her head, tossing it somewhere behind him.

Eva wrapped her right arm around Cullen’s neck as he lifted her by her thighs to straddle his hips.

Her tongue was on fire. Over his lips, over his neck, over his shoulders.

He slammed her up against a wall.

His body hardening, lengthening.

Her body softening, glistening.

She tightened her legs around his waist. Strength, power.

More kissing. Wet, messy, sloppy.

Need better support.

They slammed against a desk. Something fell. Probably broke.

Ass now on the desk, head thrown back. His tongue trails up her neck.

Sweat, sweet, sex.

More clothing tossed. Exposed. Free.

Soft, wet.

Hard, slick.

Full now. Both groan.

Wham! “Yes…” she moans it.

Wham! “Fuu..” Dies on his lips, kisses replace words…

Wham! “Oh!” Yells it, bites bottom lip.

Don’t yell.

Wham! “Maker…”

Wham! Damn desk is too close to the wall. Keeps slamming up against it as he slams into her.

He doesn’t know what’s happened. Why the sudden fervor. No complaints though. It feels good.

Wham! “Cullen, don’t stop…” She’s close. She throbs.

Wham! He can barely hold it. He grabs her thick thighs tighter.

Sweat, sweet, sex, senses-heightened.

Wham…Wham…stroke, stroke…

Breath catches.

Wetness,

Balls dampen, balls smackin against soft flesh.

Eyes roll back.

Sweat.

Grip tightens,

Sweet.

Passion crest,

Sex

bodies shutter,

bodies stiffen.

Fuuuck…

Ecstasy.

Exhausted…

 


	3. The Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva realizes what she's really been missing.

Eva looked over her shoulder at Cullen. He was sleeping on his stomach, arms tucked under a pillow, mouth slightly parted; snoring gently. He looked so serene when he was sleeping.

 

She quietly lifted her legs from under the blankets and slowly let her feet touch the floor. _Don’t creek…_

 

_Creeeek_ —Eva’s eyes darted to Cullen, who hadn’t moved from his sleeping position. Holding her breath, she quickly ran to their changing room. She and Cullen were staying at Varric’s estate for one more night before heading back to the Hinterlands.

 

Eva slid on her Great Bearhide leathers as quickly and as quietly as possible. She then slipped-well- forced her feet into her black leather boots. Finally she wiggled on her black glove and shrugged on her ankle length leather coat. Her hair was finger rolled and tucked into a high bun. She slipped a black face mask on to hide her identity… She was ready.

 

Eva, quietly exited out of the dressing room and made her way towards the main door. She glanced at her sleeping husband, a pang of guilt stabbing her heart. _I’m just going to see tonight’s fights. Nothing is wrong with that. Then why are you sneaking out?_

She was able to make her way out of the estate without him noticing.

 

Now, to the Hanged Man.

 

\---

 

The Hanged Man was buzzing just as it did the first night they visited it. _Is it like this all the time?_ Fewer guards were present tonight, maybe because Varric wasn’t here? Walking inside the tavern, she quickly began to get into the vibe of the night. The music, the noise, the blood, the sweat. Yes.

 

Eva ordered a mug of dark ale and sat down to watch the pair fighting in the ring: a man and a woman. The woman studied her challenger calculatingly. He threw a punch and she countered it with a block, a duck and a quick kick to his ribs. He stumbled back. She waited for him to get his bearings again. The crowd booed; probably because the winner was inevitable. The big brawly man lunged at the stealthy woman who caught him and kneed him in the stomach. As his body bowed over, she kneed him in the nose- once, twice, and then again, knocking him off his feet. He was out.

 

Eva grinned appreciatively. The horde booed the defeated man; the woman slipped away from the crowd and made her way casually to the bar where Eva was sitting.

 

Control. Power.

 

The woman glanced at Eva who was sipping the last bit of liquid from her mug.

 

“Want another?”

 

Startled at the woman’s voice, Eva raised her eyebrows. “Uh, sure.” Clearing her throat Eva tried not to ramble on. “You fought well in there.” Lame.

 

The woman grunted, “That,” She pointed her head in the direction of the crowd, “was practice.” She passed Eva a fresh mug of ale, tipped the bartender and downed her drink.

 

Eva noticed that the woman’s left arm was completely tattooed with strange markings. “Um, do you do this often?”

 

The woman glanced at Eva briefly. “Eh, just as long as I’m here in Kirkwall. I…travel here and there...”

 

The two women fell silent for a moment.

 

Eva wanted to ask her about her fighting skills. Although she chooses to be fairly open, she isn’t the type who likes to pry. _She can simply ignore me or leave if she doesn’t want to answer_. “What do you do on your travels? Do you fight?”

 

The woman looked in her mug and tossed back the remainder of her ale. She took her time answering the question, observing the fighters in the ring, the crowd.

 

“I fight when I have to. That guy I beat earlier, he owed me money.” The woman gazed at Eva intently. “Tell me, why do you wear that mask…Inquisitor?”

 

Eva’s heart sank, “That obvious?”

 

“No. Not to them.” The woman’s hazel brown eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here? Did you come to simply observe tonight’s fights?”

 

_Excuse me_? “Yes, what other reason would I be here?” Eva retorted.

 

The woman pushed Eva’s right shoulder hard. Eva shot up from her seat, thoroughly pissed off and confused. The other woman languidly arose from her seat and put both hands on her hips. Her thigh high boots accentuated her shapely legs.

 

She pushed Eva’s right shoulder again. Eva’s blood rushed through her body. Before the woman pushed her shoulder again, Eva raised her right arm to block her. The woman began to move faster; attacking Eva’s right shoulder, her left shoulder…Eva blocked each time.

 

The commotion began to attract the crowd. The woman got a bit more aggressive and kicked at Eva’s stomach. Eva blocked with her forearm and spun out of the way. This woman’s legs were her strength. Noticing that, Eva ducked and swept her left leg out to catch the woman off balance.

 

The woman tripped, but easily caught herself, a grin spread across her tawny face. The crowd began to cheer! Eva quickly got up, watching the woman steadily. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

 

The woman punched Eva in the lip, once, twice-

 

Eva ducked the third and blocked her upper body with her right arm and shoulder. The coppery taste of blood coated her tongue. She spat on the floor and then looked at the bitch squarely in the eyes.

 

Ok. Let’s go.

 

Eva hunched low and rushed the woman causing her back to slam into a bar table. Before the woman could recover, Eva elbowed the woman across the face. Once, twice, and then punched her in the nose. Once, twice, three times, four.

 

She was seeing red.

 

The adrenaline, it was taking over her.

 

Then she felt it. A jab of pain coursed through her lower body. The woman must have kneed her in her stomach. Eva clutched her stomach in pain. Another kick. She was on the floor. Fuck.

 

Eva was still lying on her back when she realized that she wasn’t being hit any longer. She rolled to her side and spit blood. _Wasn’t expecting that_. Noticing a hand in her face, she realized it belonged to the woman whose nose was now bloody. The crazy woman was smiling.

 

“Hi there, the name’s Isabela.”

 

Eva sighed and took Isabela’s hand. _Isabela? I think I’ve heard of her_ … “What? You’re Hawke’s friend?” Eva was panting and still spitting out blood.

 

Isabela shrugged her shoulders. “We were friends, once. Let’s head out of here.”

 

Confused and in pain, Eva followed her out the tavern. “Wait, why am I going anywhere with you? You just tried to kill me.”

 

Isabela blew her nose on a piece of cloth she lifted from the top of her boot. “I didn’t try to kill you Inquisitor. By the way, you can take the ridiculous mask off now; we’re away from the others.”

 

Eva was hesitant, but she removed the mask which was now covered with sweat and blood. “Then what the hell was that about in there? I could have killed you.”

 

Isabela continued to adjust herself. “No, you couldn’t. Besides, if you happened to be successful, which you wouldn’t have been, you wouldn’t have a proper sparring buddy.”

 

Eva shook her head incredulously. “What are you talking about? I went to the pub to _watch_ the fighting, not to participate”.

 

Isabela rolled her eyes, “You’re a terrible liar. You enjoyed it.” She walked closer to Eva, invading her personal space. “You enjoyed yourself. In fact, I think you’d like more.”

 

Eva was pissed. How dare this woman talk to her like this, “You don’t know me.”

 

Isabela, stared at Eva for a moment. “I know the real reason why you were in that tavern two nights in a row. And it wasn’t because of the ale.”

 

Eva looked at her aching knuckles. She didn’t want to admit it, but it felt good to smack someone around a bit. “So?”

 

“Sooo,” Isabela got close enough to whisper in her ear. “I’ll offer you a chance to continue to be the woman you _want_ to be.”

 

“And what do _you_ get in return?” There’s always a price.

 

“I get…a friend.” Isabela smiled slyly and stepped away. “I’ll call on you when I’m in Redcliff. If you don’t respond, then I’ll leave you alone. I’ll never bother you again.” Isabela turned on her heels and walked away.

\---

Eva opened the door to the bedroom as quietly as possible and peaked inside. Cullen appeared to be asleep still, so she walked inside and made her way towards their dressing room. She quietly kicked off her boots and began to get undressed. When she reached to lift off her blouse, she caught her reflection in the large ornate mirror.

 

Her lip was swollen and she had a purple bruise blossoming underneath her eye. She smiled. Then felt a pang of guilt along with a pang of…pain.

 

_Shoot, everything hurts._ Eva worked the rest of her clothes off and dipped a clean rag into the face basin. The water was cool against her filthy skin. She thought about what Isabela proposed. _A chance to be the woman I want to be. I don’t think I can take anymore butt-kickings like that…_

 

She froze when she felt a presence behind her. The reflection she saw in the mirror confirmed her suspicion. She was caught.

 

“Cullen, I…” She didn’t know what to say. Why did she feel so guilty for just going out to watch a fight? _Because you really wanted to join the fighting. Because you thought you had something to prove. Because you knew that Cullen wouldn’t approve._

 

Cullen leaned against the door, eyes set intensely on Eva’s face. Eva couldn’t hold his gaze. She sat the towel down and turned to face him, “Cullen, I’m sorry…I wanted to watch them fight and I didn’t want to disturb you so I went on my own.”

 

“In fighting gear.” Not a question.

 

“Everyone dresses like this and I knew I’d be traveling alone-”

 

“What happened to your face?” Cullen’s voice was low and even. He was pissed.

 

Eva sighed heavily. “Look, this is what happened…”

 

\---

Cullen watched his wife pace back and forth in their room as she talked animatedly about her crazy experience. “I felt totally alive, I was on fire!” She said as she described how she felt when she watched the fighters. Cullen walked over to the bed and sat on the end of it. _Well, that explains the other night._

 

“So, what do you want to do? Move out here so that you can get your face kicked in every night?” That came out harsher than he intended, but he’s going to leave it at that.

 

“No. Cullen.” Eva walked over to his side. “I just want to see what Isabela is talking about. It’s probably just more sparring.”

 

Cullen rubbed his neck, “Hawke says that she’s not to be trusted. The two of them were friends until Isabela decided to run off with some Qunari book. Whatever it was, she and Hawke fell out. You need to consider that.”

 

Eva flopped down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. This wasn’t about Isabela.

 

“I don’t know, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” She sat up and moved behind Cullen to kiss the back of his neck.

 

He stood up and walked around to the side of the bed and got back in.

 

_That’s never happened…_

 

Eva flopped back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling until sleep claimed her.

 

It’s going to be a long trip back home....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, no smut. I'll make sure to get it in for the next chapter. I realized I needed to build the story a little more...
> 
> Some of you out there make this stuff look so easy!!


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a little over six weeks since Cullen and Eva had visited Kirkwall. They finally deal with some serious issues...
> 
> Last chapter in series.

“Cullen, you haven’t spoken to me in three days.”

Eva moved in front of Cullen so that he could see her. He ignored her as he continued to gather the wood logs he hacked a moment ago. After securing the stack with a rope, he grabbed the bundle and hefted it onto his right shoulder.

Eva followed behind Cullen who was striding quickly towards a waiting cart. The wood was going to be given to the old couple that cared for Blade while they were in Kirkwall…Blade killed two of their chickens so…it was the least Cullen could do.

Thrusting the bundle into the cart, Cullen ripped off his work gloves and glared at his wife. He noticed that her cuts and bruises were completely healed and that she looked healthy and strong. She was wearing a lovely off-white cotton dress. The sleeves were elbow length and hung off her shoulders. Stitched flowers bordered the bottom hem of the dress.  She looked beautiful.

But he was a man who could seriously hold a grudge.

“Have you made your decision yet?” He sneered. “Have you decided whether you want to be some fucking pirate or be my wife?” Three days ago, Cullen handed Eva a note addressed to her from a “La Bella”. He watched her silently read the letter. She didn’t mention a thing about it.

Eva bit her tongue. She could understand why he was angry. But this was just…going too far. “Cullen, why are you acting like this? I’ve apologized for what happened in Kirkwall over and over again.”

Cullen turned away and placed both hands on the lowered back door of the cart. He slowly inhaled and exhaled before speaking. “Eva. Did you lie about…wanting to have a child? Were you saying that shit just to make me happy?” He turned and looked at her, anger, a kindling fire in his eyes.

Eva stepped up closer to him, not wanting to touch him for fear that he’d flinch away. “No Cullen, I didn’t lie. I did _-I do_ want to bare your children more than anything.” Eva’s voice began to quiver, her eyes watered. “I knew you were blaming me.”

She hated sounding like a freaking weakling. She was always a hard ass, she was secure; she was a freaking warrior!

Cullen looked at her incredulously, “Then tell me why you would even _consider_ going out there to fight? Is it really a fucking high for you? Or do you have something to prove?!” He hated the tone he was using with her, but he was angry, he was hurt.

“Cullen it’s what I know! I feel good when I fight. It’s who I am! Not some… pretty little housewife! Shit, look at me! My damn arm is gone; I feel like I let everybody down for disbanding the inquisition, I lost…I didn’t know I was… Let me fucking do something that…I’m good at!”

Cullen narrowed his eyes. “You’re being fucking selfish Eva.” He spat out. “You’re selfish. You weren’t thinking about me and what the hell I wanted! Everything’s about you!” He turned and hurled more wood onto the cart.

Eva grabbed his shoulder roughly, forcing him to turn around to face her, “I’m selfish?! And you’re not? You just want me to be some freaking loser of a wife, “barefoot and pregnant”. What if you never get what you want Cullen? Then what? You’re going to fucking leave me? Are you going to fucking leave me for what happened?!”

“That,” he pointed in her face, “Is stupid. I promised you that I would _never_ leave you. _You’re_ the one officially giving up on us and yourself. _You_ got yourself into that situation with Isabela in Kirkwall. A brawl for fun, Eva? _Really_? You were probably glad about what happened to our…you didn’t shed one tear.” His voice cracked; he couldn’t finish…his head hurt…his heart… He wanted her to feel something! He wanted her to feel the same pain he did.

The morning they were scheduled to leave Kirkwall, Eva began experiencing terrible abdominal pains…bleeding… The midwife revealed that she was only a few weeks along. But it didn’t matter to him. It was their baby…But he knew deep in his heart that Eva didn’t know she was pregnant when she got into the fight with Isabela. They were both shocked.

…It’s been a little over six weeks since their loss. When Isabela’s letter came in three days ago, Cullen was livid.

“How could you say that?!” Fuming Eva moved to slap him.

He caught her wrist and held it firmly in place. “Don’t. Hit. Me,” he growled between clenched teeth.

“Let me go!” Eva struggled to get out of his grip. “Cullen!” She wrangled herself around furiously to get away from him. Taking hold of her waist, Cullen turned her around in an attempt to gain better control of her. Tears were running down Eva’s face as she wailed in his arms. Cullen held her against him, her back pressed tightly against his chest. As her body sagged against his in defeat, he dropped to his knees, cradling her as she sobbed openly, painfully. “What was I supposed to do Cullen?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he let her cry, understanding now what she _really_ needed.

She needed to grieve. She needed to grieve the end of the fight. Grieve the end of the inquisition. Grieve the loss of her hand. Grieve the loss of their unborn child. Grieve whatever life she had and whoever she was.

So he sat there in the dirt, holding his wife tight. With each shutter of her body, his heart ached for her. He felt stupid. There was nothing he could say, nothing else he could do. He could only be there as he promised.

\---

He carried her into their home and laid her gently on the bed. They were both silent. Blade wouldn’t follow them into the house; he was still disturbed by their yelling, so he decided to lie just outside the door.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Cullen put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his clasped hands. A headache was gnawing its way through his skull, threatening to cause him grief. Stress made his headaches come on faster and harder. He needed to close his eyes.

“You’re right.” Cullen’s eyes flew open when he heard Eva’s voice. “I was being selfish. I was being selfish and I was feeling sorry for myself.”

He turned around to face her. “No, I…I was putting way too much pressure on you…I asked you to marry me at the fucking Exalted Council for goodness sake. I should have given you more time…to sort things through.”

She sat up and wiped her face. “I got my ass kicked in Kirkwall.” Eva sighed. Cullen regarded his wife. Isabela’s letter was in her hand. He watched her walk over to the fire and toss it into the hungry flames. “I needed it though. It humbled me.” Eva walked over to the tub and began to prepare the bath.

“I’ll…take care of that, you uh…”

“Do you want me to cook?”

\---

After getting Blade settled by rubbing his belly and giving him a piece of jerky, Cullen got into the tub. Eva had already finished bathing and was sitting at her vanity, brushing her hair. Her white night gown was sheer, one strap hanged lazily off her shoulder. Cullen watched her brush as he sat in the tub. He loved her so much. His heart beat for her. He closed his eyes and thought about the day they were alone in Skyhold’s prayer room. She confided in him that she was afraid that she would not succeed in the battle against their enemy. But she did…

He wanted to get her away from all that shit. He wanted for them to just live a peaceful life. _A real life_. He wanted a child too. He wanted _children_. Maybe he was being selfish. And yes, he was a little scared about the very real possibility that Eva may struggle with getting pregnant again...Shut up…He was still a man of faith. _If it was in the Maker’s will, it’ll happen for us._ Honestly, whether she wanted the inquisition to remain or not, he would’ve been by her side. No matter what.

He finished washing and got out of the tub. He dried his body and his hair and slipped on his linen night pants. Eva gazed at him through the reflection in the mirror. He was a beautiful man. His tanned skin, his sculpted abs, his curly hair, his facial hair…But more importantly, he was a _good_ man. He loved his family, he was kind to others, he stood by what he believed in, he owned up to his faults and shortcomings. He wasn’t perfect, but he did his best.

“Cullen.”

“Yes?” His voice was deep, but sounded far away, like he was in deep thought.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I’m sorry for hurting you...” She stood up and walked over to him, he was standing in front of the fireplace, hands clasped behind his back.

He walked over to her and took her hand in his, pulling her closer to him. He swept his arms under her and carried her to their bed sitting her on the end of it. Getting on his knees, he took her hand and exhaled, “I’m sorry too, Eva. I promised to love you all of my days and I meant every word.” He kissed her palm gently, his facial hair softly scraping against her hand.

“I love you. I love you more than anything.” Eva’s eyes began to tear up.

Cullen looked up from her palm and gazed at Eva’s beautiful face. Her olive colored eyes were shimmering with tears. He gently put his hands on her knees as she leaned forward to kiss him. Parting her legs wider he moved his head lower to clasp his lips over her sheer covered nipple.

He teased her nipple while he moved his hands to raise her gown further up her thick shapely legs. He could feel the power and strength in those thighs, in those hips. “Lay down.” She obeyed and allowed him to lift the gown up over her waist. His lip twitched upward as he gazed tenderly at her exposed sex. Her breast rose up and down as her breathing quickened at his light touch. His thumbs gently caressed her outer folds.

“You’re so precious to me Eva.” He said low in his throat. His thumb gently stroked her clit, sending a shock wave through her body. The sight of her moistened sex made his vision blur in yearning. The feel of her wetness on his thumb made him grow hard. Her sweet scent, made him…hungry.

Closing his eyes, he kissed Eva’s lower abdomen and lingered there a while. Eva could feel his mouth move softly as if was saying something…like a secret prayer…

He kissed further down her body, turning his head towards her inner thighs.

“Cullen…”Eva moaned, she anticipated what was coming but he was taking too damn long.

He continued to kiss the other thigh as he gently caressed her clitoris with his thumb. “You were right, Eva.” Cullen whispered as he nipped her hips with his teeth, “I _am_ fucking selfish.”

He pushed her thighs up and placed her legs over his shoulders. Eva cried out when she felt his lips on her. His tongue began to suck and lick and lick and suck on her most sensitive part. His tongue flicked its way inside her before travelling back up her clitoris. He wasn’t teasing, he wasn’t gentle: he was starving for her.

Eva looked down at her husband with heavily hooded eyes. Just watching him eat her was too much. His golden eyes looked up at her, desire glowing amber. He watched the rise and fall over her breast as she panted. Her sweet scent made his head swim. He flattened his tongue and licked firmly up and down her slit, savoring her juices, relishing her moans.

His body strained due to the sensory overload.

Pressing his head gently down, Eva arched her back and tilted her chin up. “Baby…” She moaned closing her eyes shut. The warmth from his breath, the groans of enjoyment rumbling out of his throat brought her to her peak. “I’m coming…baby I’m…I’m…” Cullen slipped his tongue inside her opening. Eva’s body exploded into ecstasy. Cullen worked to draw out her orgasm, sucking gently, steadily. He chuckled to himself as he watched Eva turn her face from side to side, moaning in pleasure.

Cullen sat back and wiped the palm of his hand down his juicy mouth and chin; his cock was straining through his light colored linen pants. Breathing hard still, Eva lifted her night gown over her head and tossed it. Her recently brushed hair was now wild and untamed over her light brown shoulders. The green jewels of her eyes were heavy with desire.

 _Yes, I am fucking selfish_. Cullen pinned his wife with a heated stare while he stepped out of his pants. “Turn over…” The words were breathy, barely audible. She obliged.

He gazed at her back…smooth, creamy. Her ass…nicely plump. He noticed that-feature of hers-one day in Haven; she asked him whether he kept certain…vows. When she turned away to leave, he stole a look at that ass… _thank the Maker I’ve taken no such vows_.

Cullen gently moved Eva’s hair away from her neck and traced his lips behind her ears. He knew she liked the feel of his stubble, his warm breath on her skin. “I love you, woman.” He whispered in her ear.

Spreading her legs further apart, he slid deep inside her. “Maker…”

Eva pressed her hips into his as he stroked her from behind. His weight felt good on her, she felt protected and safe. _This is what I want…this… is what I want…_

Cullen inhaled the cinnamon and vanilla scent of his wife’s hair. He nuzzled her neck and nibbled on her shoulder as he continued to stroke her in a deep consistent rhythm. “I just want you to be happy,” he whispered into her neck.

“I am happy honey.”

“I want this…to be enough. Us…our future together…” His strokes deepened, their bodies moved in sync.

Eva gripped the bed linen in her right hand and sucked in a breath when Cullen began to thrust more tenderly. “It is enough…” she whimpered his name at the blossoming sensation of every stroke. Cullen slipped his left arm underneath Eva to cup her breast in his palm. She was so soft…so wet… “I need you...” Fuck. Cullen closed his eyes and buried his face in her wild main of curls.

“Eva…” He could feel her inner walls clench as she came, inviting his own body to join her in pleasure. He pushed her knee further up with his own as he stroked deeper. Cullen’s breath came out in ragged pants as he empty his seed inside her…“Mmmm...I am yours...forever.”

\---

 

 

Epilogue

“Now remember, continue to chew these herbs twice a day, drink plenty of water, not ale! And,” the midwife cupped her hands as if to whisper a secret, “do continue to uh…play with your husband. And garden! Tending your garden is great exercise. I’ll be here to check on you in three weeks my dear.”

“Thank you Mrs. Tilley.” Eva waved goodbye as Cullen closed the door. He couldn’t keep the smile from crawling its way up the corner of his mouth.

Eva’s baby bump was a lot more visible now at six months. He couldn’t wait for her to get even bigger with his child. Damn, just knowing she was with his child made him a little…aroused. Damn…

“Do you need anything?” He asked for the millionth time as he pressed his hand against the side of her belly. He kissed her lips, then her neck, her shoulder.

“Ummm, nope. I’m good. I’m going to respond to Josephine and Vivienne’s letters then do my gardening and then,” She eyeballed Blade, “I’m going to give that ball of dirt a bath.” Blade simply walked out the house.

“Ha, good luck trying to get Blade anywhere near you anytime soon.” Cullen shook his head, “Who are you going to let plan the baby celebration, Josephine or Vivienne?” _Not that I really care…_

Eva pursed her lips as she sat down at the desk. “Neither. I’m going to let Mia do it.”

Cullen rubbed his face, “Maker’s breath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read my first fanfic. I've loved Cullen since DAO. Thanks for giving me a chance. Thank you for your kudos and kind comments. 
> 
> More chapters have been added...5/2016
> 
> Blessings


	5. Meet the Trevelyans: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen meets Eva's family at the Trevelyan Estate in Ostwick for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I wasn't sure if this should have been included in this story or in the Rutherford Snippets story. I might post this there too...

Cullen drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He could feel his palms beginning to dampen a bit. _Don’t get nervous now_ …he chided himself. He’s met Eva’s mother once before when she visited them at their home in the Hinterlands. She was pleasant enough although she would stare at him strangely at times as though she could read his thoughts. He could usually read people very well; but her mother’s emerald eyes revealed very little beyond her genuine kindness. But he knew that she was always watching him, sorting him out.

 

Sighing, he couldn’t help but to feel a slight bit of apprehension. After all, he did elope with the Trevelyans’ middle daughter before asking for their blessing. _Oh and I fornicated with the Herald of Andraste who happens to be their beloved daughter. And they’re nobles. And they are important figures within the Ostwick Chantry…_

Wiping his hands on his leathers, he reached for his wife’s soft, cool hand. She squeezed it reassuringly before leading him into the Trevelyan estate where her parents, two brothers and two sisters waited to greet them.

_Maker, help me…_

_\---_

 …Cullen followed Eva into the foyer and glanced around. The savory smell of roasted ram and vegetables wafted throughout the room. The light sound of chatter and laughter filled the noble home with a friendly aura.

 

“Cullen,” Eva leaned towards him to whisper, “Relax, you’re gripping my hand a little tight.”

 

“Oh...” Sheesh, he’s never done anything like this before! He’s been a bachelor for over thirty years! He wished he felt more confident. It would have been much easier if he had courted women before but that wasn’t his life…until now. Not to mention the fact that this was his first _real_ romantic relationship. In addition to that, they were doing things “backwards”. Maybe they should have discussed a few technicalities and strategies beforehand.

 

Together they walked towards the entrance of the drawing room when a servant greeted them with a tray of champagne.

 

“Do you have anything…slightly stronger?” Cullen whispered. The servant nodded as he switched glasses. He handed Cullen a short glass with a dark amber liquid inside. Cullen downed the liquid in one swallow and placed the glass back on the servant’s tray. “Thank you.” The servant attempted to hand Eva a glass of champagne but she politely refused the drink.

 

Moments later, they heard a screech that reverberated throughout the salon. “Eva!!!!!” Cullen raised both eyebrows as he watched two women run towards them with their hands outstretched. Eva turned and joined their screams of “Ahhhhhhhhh!” The ladies embraced in a threefold hug and jumped up and down together. Breaking out of the embrace she waived Cullen over.

 

“My love, these are my sisters: Alicia and LeAnna.”

 

Bowing politely, Cullen stretched out his hand to the younger of the two who yanked him into a hug. “It’s great to meet you Cul’!”  Cullen tried to hide his shock but couldn’t. His body was stiff as a board and he barely managed to remember to at least pat the little woman on her back. “Dang, Eva! Great job girl! Great job!”

 

“LeAnna, come on.”

 

Alicia stepped forward and offered Cullen a warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you Cullen.” She offered her hand which he took with slight hesitation. “Don’t worry,” Alicia chuckled, “I’m not going to pull you in for a hug. That’s not really my thing.”

 

Cullen smiled sheepishly and unknowingly rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”

 

“So, I’m Eva’s elder sister. Our brothers are outside with our mother and my husband Ralph. And our father is… somewhere around here. Eva, why don’t you introduce him to Nana and then meet us outside?”

 

“Ok, where is Nana?” Eva looked around the large room for her grandmother.

 

LeAnna raised an eyebrow, “Alicia. You know how grandmother is…she’ll embarrass Cullen to death. Remember how she was with Ralph?”

 

“Well…you have a point, but she’s harmless.” Alicia winked at Eva and grinned.

 

Cullen glanced at Eva who seemed to be considering this plan to meet Nana. Shrugging off whatever concern she had she began to pull Cullen along with her. “We’ll see you two outside then.” 

 

“Nope. I’m staying right here,” LeAnna said linking her arm around Cullen’s free arm. “I want to see this.”

 

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Tumblr has been taking over my life! I'm ready to get back to just writing...


	6. The Nana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen meets Eva's grandmother.

They spotted her grandmother sitting amongst a group of other mature women who were talking and laughing with one another. Her silver hair was cropped in a youthful short cut. Her light brown skin crinkled mischievously at the sides of her light brown eyes as she pretended to listen to the two woman sitting to her left argue over who was going to marry their grandsons. Crystal fluted glass in hand she sipped on the clear sparkling liquid and rolled her eyes.

Seeing her granddaughter approach her, she held up her hand to silence the contentious talk. “There you are! Come here baby!”

Eva approached her grandmother and leaned down to embrace her. “Hi Nana. How are you?”

She kissed Eva’s cheek before responding, “I’m not high enough to listen to this bullshit.” Nana whispered loud enough for the other ladies to hear. “And my glass is half empty. That’s never a positive thing in my opinion. But let me look at you a little bit…” Nana leaned back in her seat to examine Eva. “You’ve certainly changed.”

Eva blushed. Her grandmother spoke bluntly and truthfully. It was often a risk for anyone to engage with her if they wished to avoid the story of their lives being told. _We’ll keep this short_ , Eva decided.

“Ladies, you remember my granddaughter, Eva? She saved the fucking world.”

“Come here Eva, we haven’t seen you in such a long time.” One of her grandaunts called out. Eva went to each woman who hugged, thanked, and cooed over her. All the while Nana’s eyes were on the handsome warrior who stood patiently with his hands clasped behind his back, waiting to be introduced. She lifted her near empty glass once more to her lips and stared at Cullen over the rim.

“Cullen these are our aunts and some family friends.” LeAnna, noticing her grandmother’s stare and near-empty glass, left Cullen’s side. “Nana, let me get that for you.” She took the glass and against her better judgement, refilled it.

Nana nodded her thanks and took another delicate sip.

“Eva, my dear…” She nodded her head in Cullen’s direction.

Eva walked over to Cullen and took his hand, entwining her fingers with his. She leaned into him and smiled sweetly. “Nana this is Cullen Rutherford of Honnleath. Former Templar of the Ferelden Circle. He also served in Kirkwall. He was then requested to serve as the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces where he also functioned as one of my advisors.”

Cullen extended his palm to Nana, “Madame, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Cullen kissed Nana’s hand respectfully.

“Well…” Nana examined Cullen up and down and smiled. “How much pleasure do I give you, my dear boy?” She threw head back and laughed at her own joke and perhaps at the startled look on Cullen’s face. His cheeks reddened slightly. “Oh, don’t get too flustered. I was only teasing.”

Clearing his throat he nodded to Nana and licked his lips, another nervous habit he had if he didn’t move to rub his neck. “Yes ma’am.”

“My dear Eva, get your husband a drink. So, tell me, Commander Cullen of Honnleath, how do you like being married to my amazing granddaughter, the Herald of Andraste?”

Cullen glanced at his wife who smiled and shook her head as she popped the top off a crystal bottle and poured its contents into a glass. _This isn’t a trick question is it?  Don’t over think it, Cullen._ “I am very grateful that she would have me. I mean, the idea of being with such an influential person was intimidating, yes…but your granddaughter is…“ Cullen beheld his wife’s lovely face. He could see and feel her loving support and faith in him, a man who has made so many mistakes in his life. “…remarkable.”

“And the truth, Nana, is that I’m not the Herald of Andraste. That was a stupid title that people came up with.” Eva’s gaze lingered on her husband’s as she handed him his glass. “I’m just a woman who helped do whatever needed to get done.” Nana noticed that her granddaughter didn’t make a drink for herself; she smiled before taking another sip.

“Indeed. So, Commander Cullen, you are from a small town, your wife here is from a noble house, what’s in it for her?”

“Nana…” Eva began to protest. She loved her grandmother but sometimes she was too much. That’s partially why she didn’t rush to come home after the war…

Cullen thanked his wife for the glass of nerves and took a sip as he considered his answer. Fuck it. “Nothing…just me.” He pulled back his shoulders a little bit. He was never good at trying to be what other’s wanted him to be. And this here wasn’t a game. He came to meet her family, they should be able to meet the real him. _“_ My love and all that I have, it’s all hers.” The other women smiled and nodded at Cullen’s sincere answer. Nana dismissed the approval with a wave of her hand.

“Hmm. Well I can certainly say that you are a very pretty man. I can’t say that I blame my dear Eva, being that you only offer yourself and such…Eva, you said her was your advisor?” Eva rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her hip. “Honestly child, I thought you would never find a man.”

“Nana!” She could feel her skin warm with slight embarrassment.

Nana shrugged nonchalantly and smiled, “What? Ask your mother. We both thought we’d have to take drastic measures to get you interested in men or anyone for that matter. You took to the sword and shield and that was it! Nothing else!”

“Nana, you were a warrior under King Maric’s rule! You’re the one who encouraged me more than anyone to pursue my training.”

 The older woman nodded in agreement, “Perhaps. But I was a fierce lover as well as fighter.” Nana closed her eyes and smiled as she reminisced. “Yes, I would come in from training or a fight and have one of my lovers bathe me, another feed me, and another cleaned and shined my armor.”

“Uh, too much information and a bit inappropriate, Nana.” LeAnna made a disgusted face.

 “Hear how they talk to me Cullen? Their poor little grandmother is called ‘inappropriate’ amongst other things. It’s a wonder that they even bother visiting me at all. In fact,” she sipped again, “None of you would be here if it wasn’t for me. All those children I bore out of my very own body. Eva, be careful, you’re sexy now, but after that third one…”

Cullen wanted to exit from this wicked conversation. Instead, he shifted his feet and took a gulp from his glass. “You served under the king? I’m very interested in hearing more about your experience…in service Madame Trevelyan.”

Nana smiled broadly and sat upright in her seat, “Well, I must say it was an amazing time in my life. I wanted to be a soldier since I was a little girl.” She nodded at Eva, “This one here has it honest.”

Cullen couldn’t disagree. He loved her because of that.

“You know, I think their grandfather was a Templar. Unless…he was a city guard…or a Grey Warden…I forget. But there are a lot of wielders of blades in this family. Their brother Anthony is a Templar, have you met him? He’s an asshole.”

Eva didn’t object, “Well…he means well…”

“No he doesn’t.” Nana and LeAnna said in unison. Eva glanced at Cullen who was trying to sort this information out in his mind.

Nana narrowed her eyes at Cullen and pursed her lips. “Why is she not drinking?” She pointed to Eva now.

 Cullen shifted his feet and glanced at Eva for confirmation, “Well, we uh…”

 “Nana…we were planning to share a few things with everyone at dinner.”

 Nana took a sip, “Mmm hmm.” 

 Eva smiled politely and took Cullen’s hand, which was warm and not as sweaty as she thought it would be.

“I dare say! Cullen you made a real woman out of this one didn’t you? You did!” Nana raised her glass. “To Cullen, my new favorite son-in-law.”

Cullen smiled and shook his head, “My lady, I sincerely believe that it is the other way around,” the brandy was finally kicking in, warming his skin. “If it wasn’t for your granddaughter, I may not have gotten through some really rough times during the past two years.” Eva grinned and kissed Cullen on the cheek.

Nana tilted her head as she examined her granddaughter and the man beside her. She noticed how his eyes softened and his lip lifted up in a shy half-smile involuntarily when Eva smiled. He was definitely a warrior, Nana could see it in his face, the way he stood, and the way he walked. He was disciplined in his mannerism and appearance. But, more importantly, he was sincerely in love with her granddaughter. He pressed his hand to the small of Eva's back and gently caressed her with his thumb. Subtle and intimate. A habitual touch. Comforting to him mostly, a message to her of that need for comfort. Nana knew. Nana saw.

“Come here hun,” Nana waived Cullen over and extended her arms to him. As he bent down to hug her (albeit awkwardly), she held him in her arms and whispered in his ear, “Just so you know, I may be old, but I still know how to use a sword.  But… I’m happy that you are here with Eva. Welcome to the family sweetheart.”

 Cullen smiled at that, “I respect that. Thank you Mrs. Trevelyan.”

“Nana. I want you to call me Nana.” She lifted her chin up defiantly. “Try again.”

 _Maker’s breath_! “Thank you……….Nana.” He’d never get used to that….

LeAnna walked over to her brother-in-law and put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, “She’s your Nana too now.”

_Worse could have happened…better could have happened too…but this could have been a lot worse._

“Nana, we’ll see you at dinner.” LeAnna put her arm around her sister’s waist and waived for Cullen to follow, “let’s see what the boys and mother are up to before dinner.”

Maker help him.


End file.
